Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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