I'm jealous of your bromance
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
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you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
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Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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