The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
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Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
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