there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
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her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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