These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
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Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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