peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize