soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize