She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize