It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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