but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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