filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ttyl tear gas
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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