Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
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I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
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You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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