if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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