ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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