this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize