Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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