We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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