i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize