Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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