can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize