I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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