Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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