Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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