How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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