Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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