38 yer olds are good kisserssss
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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