I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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