FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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