I got chris browned last night
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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