And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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