I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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