We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
should my penis look like a turkey
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Randomize