My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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