I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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