I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize