i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
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Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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