i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize