I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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