my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
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she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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