couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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