You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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