i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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