i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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