I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize