glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
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I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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