You're my little dorito
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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