the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize