i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize