i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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