I wish I could punch you in the face.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
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From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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